At my daughter’s wedding a few
years ago, the bride and groom
gave out little trees as “wedding
favors.” My comment (completely ignored by my wife) was, “Wedding favors? Isn’t it enough that we’re feeding 200-plus people a gourmet meal at a swanky country club, providing them with a 10-piece band to dance to, a five-tiered wedding cake for dessert and supplying them with enough booze to keep Congress tomato-faced for a month? Do we really need to give them each a ‘favor’ also? And, what the hell is a ‘wedding favor?’”
Here is what Modern Bride had to say about ‘wedding favors’ in a recent issue: “Gone are the days of giving guests mixed nuts in little paper cups as wedding favors. Today’s brides have so many more options. Start by choosing a unique favor container, such as tiny tins, clear plastic cones or little gossamer bags – and filling them with your favorite treats. The choices are truly endless.”
The fact that the choices are endless is just one of the many reasons that today’s typical ‘modern bride’ is lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling thinking, “Where do I get tiny tins? Personalized ribbon? How do I personalize ribbon? Gossamer bags? Should I use gossamer tins with personalized gossamer ribbon or tiny clear plastic gossamer cones with personalized gossamer tins? And what in the hell is a gossamer?”
And so, as the sun peeks over the eastern horizon, the sleepless bride-to-be grimly rises to face another day of endless decision-making for her special day because the planning logistics of today’s “modern wedding” make the preparations for a military invasion of a foreign country look like a cakewalk in comparison.
These thousands of decisions include such critical details as (in no particular order): choosing a date, a guest list, a reception site, a photographer, a caterer, where to register for gifts, designing ‘unique’ invitations, finding out what a gossamer is, writing vows, centerpieces for the tables, choosing the perfect wedding dress, seating arrangements, flowers, a wedding cake, a band, a church, a minister, finding out how to personalize a gossamer, planning the rehearsal dinner...and literally thousands of other elements that must be absolutely flawless in order to make her special day the PERFECT wedding.
Meanwhile, the bride-to-be will select a half-dozen unfortunate victims to become members of the most abused group of women in America — bridesmaids. These pitiful wretches will be subjected to the timeless tradition of spending hundreds of dollars, and an entire evening, flouncing about in a fluorescent, puffy sleeved, disaster-dress, complete with the requisite rear-mounted bow approximately the size of a stealth bomber.
I agree with my good friend Dave Barry who wonders why it takes a year to plan the PERFECT wedding but only a couple days to put together the PERFECT funeral. The elements are basically the same: a church, a minister, music, flowers, guests, food, relatives you don’t like, awkward speeches by nervous speakers — they are basically the same event.
Married. Buried.
Coincidence? I think not.Read more at:green prom dresses | pink prom dresses
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